i am paige connors and i live in rva.
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also just so u know my little followers, i am now putting any and all triggering text posts authored by me completely under cuts

i’ve lost a lot of followers to my own depression vents that i put out there straight-up without cuts and i think using cuts is a good way for me not to regret that shit the next day

i’ve been pretty depressed lately because i haven’t been on prozac because i can’t quite afford to go to the doctor right now but i’m job-searching so hopefully that will change v soon

this depression is not a mental depression so much as an apathy/lethargy one so it’s ”better”than usual

also i think the fireworks are starting, which means it’s about time to head to kroger for some wine and an energy drink so i can beat that hellish oregon hill post-firework traffic

or i could go and get wine and then walk home idk but i’m all alone and that would make me sad i think

also lol @ going to kroger & then a 4th of july party in my france jersey

at a certain point in high school i became so furious at the concept of nationalism/american exceptionalism (and other things) masked as “patriotism” that i initially dropped the “under god” part of the pledge of allegiance, which eventually escalated to standing up for the pledge (requirement) but not saying it at all and just staring blankly ahead teehee as in i was not super-rebelliious because of severe social anxiety & i am a v lazy human

another thing:  dylan has been listening to hundred waters a whole lot in his car lately and i think everyone should listen to their second album, the one that came out this year, at least once

it’s so beautiful

oh yeah unrelated sidenote:

ever since google or the internet or whoever blocked that cool code like site:mediafire.com + “[INSERT ALBUM NAME OR ARTIST NAME HERE]”| (rar/zip) or whatever the formula was…well, the point is that i don’t know how to illegally download music anymore lol

i’m v happy rn because my sister told me that my mom knows & understands what pansexuality is and that’s maybe/probably from lurking on my tumblr

my mom may be learning things from my tumblr

things about the world

she is a v caring and understanding lady but the prospect that someone i love and care about v much is learning about and imbibing things that i care about v much is v exciting

i guess i should finish vineland and i’ve also been meaning to read 1 million other things, including nicole krauss and also like rereading all of milan kundera’s stuff

okay it’s not like i am lacking in books to read but i really want to stay in westeros/essos

i guess i could always track down grrm’s other stuff but i am broke rn so w/e

ugh i finished a dance with dragons what am i going to do with myself nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

butthole bank of butts cancelled my debit card without sending me a new one so now i have no access to my munny~ great i love startving anyway

not gonna name names but a certain rude cat pooped a rather stinky shit on the floor in the middle of my room despite the clean litterbox

(hint:  it wasn’t roxy)

i’ve only been awake since like 12:30 and i’m already suddenly tired

i even took 20 mg of adderall today and had a rockstar punched because i’ve started to need to rely on caffeine again llol

today was “talk frankly with a bunch of awesome people” day